Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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