and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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