so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
