Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
