in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
