we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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