The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My penis needs a shock collar
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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