yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
