just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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