never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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