I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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