He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
