It's Friday. Sex?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
