Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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