Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
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