Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
ok first of all what the fuck
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
