Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
