I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This is not my ceiling
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
