So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
