i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
