i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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