I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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