My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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