We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You were trust falling into bushes
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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