Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
