oh god the rape fog is back!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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