There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
