Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
