It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
