I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
