addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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