North Korea, Best Korea!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
