I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
