I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
