yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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