Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
