haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
God I need to hump something, right now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
