I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize