no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize