I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
