i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
