Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
