Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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