David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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