I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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