Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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