Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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