It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
