We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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