Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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