I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
