; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
