dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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