Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
