dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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